That’s what I think to myself sometimes. What am I doing now? I’m a full-time mum, wife, a blogger and working on starting my own business.
6 years ago I would of said at this age I’d like to be starting to settle, get married and start a family.
3 years ago I would of said at this age I’d like to of done some travelling and be pregnant with my 1st.
1 year ago I would of said I’d like to be back at work part-time with Tom in daycare.
Things change faster than you can blink sometimes. Of course you can’t plan these things, and I have no regrets. How can I have any regrets when all those moments in life that did happen over the last 6 years have led me to be in my own home, with a supportive, loving husband and a little boy that injects so much energy into life, he is the epitome of life itself? I can’t.
My housemate from uni days would always joke, “What happened to the career girl who was going to leave uni, teach overseas, no interest in getting married. Look at you now!”
And it’s true. Career girl I was. As soon as I hit 14 and 9 months I had a job. And I never stopped being in a job until I went on maternity leave. I always thought Tom would still be so little at 6 months old, but after a year I could go back to work.
But we formed that attachment. The one that only a mother could understand. The bond that breaks your heart and lifts it up at the same time. The bond that means you could be at your wit’s end with frustration and fatigue. So much so, that you find yourself fantasising about packing your bags, getting in the car, and driving, and driving, and driving. But you can’t because the bond cannot be broken. The insurmountable love pulls you back, every time.
And now here I am, and sure I miss teaching. It has its own set of bonds – once a teacher, always a teacher. But it’s not the end of the world that I’m not doing it on a part time basis. Especially now that the horrendous fatigue has faded, I find myself actually enjoying being in the company of Tom all the time, as well as managing the house and embarking on this new path of blogging and hopefully a home business.
I used to think if I wasn’t back at work by now, I’d be ‘just’ a mum and that would drive me up the walls, but I’m more than just a mum and even though I have crappy days and sometimes that fatigue creeps up on me, I know this is where I want to be…for now.
Are you where you thought you would be 5-6 years ago? If not, what led you to be where you are?