I think I scare my friends with Motherhood. You know those times when you go out with friends who don’t have kids, and you find yourself dealing with a clingy baby and a screaming toddler. There’s those other times that you are taking forever to get everything in and out of the car. Then there are the constant stops to change nappies and breastfeed. It’s enough to make anyone who is childless think, why on Earth would people to choose to do this!?
I used to think like they do ALL the time. I don’t mind being in a classroom I would say. I don’t have to take those children home. I thought I might have kids one day, but it was a passing thought. It horrified me on too many levels to seriously consider it – from the massive dependency on me to the birth itself. I wasn’t really interested in that at all.
And yet here I am.
I never understood how something that looked so hard and seemed like so much work could be as ‘amazing’ as everyone says. I never understood the ‘calling’ of being a mother. I didn’t think I had any of that in me.
And yet here I am.
The thing with Motherhood is, you can’t say in words how amazing it is. The words are not enough. And you can’t convince your friends no matter how many selfies you share, or photos of your kids smiling, playing or doing something clever. Absolutely none of that can portray Motherhood at its best.
Because the best moments of Motherhood are so intimate and private – there’s usually nobody else around. When the moments happen, it’s not the moment itself that is to be treasured…it’s the FEELING that you treasure when it happens. You can’t film the feeling, or bottle it or get it engraved. It’s etched in your heart and that’s the only place you can find it. It can’t be shared or put on display.
It’s the feeling when you give birth and the sense of relief at hearing your baby cry for the first time. It’s the first time they breastfeed and the way they gaze into your eyes when they do. It’s when you watch them fall asleep or when they hug you tight. It’s when you see a reflection of yourself in what they do. It’s when they need comfort. Or when they comfort you. It’s watching them with their Dad and watching him feel the same way you do. It’s loving someone more than you can ever love yourself.
Motherhood is the feeling you get when all the above things happen and more. It’s unique to the mother, their story and their children. I’m glad my life brought me to having children when I did. I can have anything on this Earth at any age and experience it at any time. Having children is something I’ll always be thankful for experiencing here and now.
My children can be difficult sometimes. Sometimes I am at my wit’s end with a toddler who is one of the most determined, fierce, passionate little ball of fire that I have met. But as cliche as it is, it’s worth it. It’s always worth it. If my friends choose to have babies I hope they feel that way sometime too!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mothers, the Pregnant Ones or the ones that have lost their babies. You’ve all had those feelings of Motherhood – and that is to be celebrated 🙂
How are you celebrating this weekend?