I’m Sorry/Not Sorry: 12 Months of Breastfeeding

Jeremy foodI’m sorry that this has to end when we’re not ready. It was supposed to fade away at just the right speed for you and me.

I’m not sorry that we made it this far. Not a bottle or sip of anything but breastmilk and water for just beyond 12 months.

Some don’t understand what it’s like. “Just give him a sippy cup, he’ll be right” They’re not here to hear you cry when all you want is a suck through the night.

Some people say breastmilk isn’t as nutritious after 12 months. They think the bond changes. The hormones released aren’t the same. But never has that link between feeding you and feeling complete altered. From the moment you arrived 4 weeks early I was determined to see this through. I thought the troubles with your brother would wear me down, but they only made me more sure of myself that I can do this. Thankfully, you were just as stubborn.



I’m not sorry we didn’t let the midwives fumble and pressure us. We found ourselves fitting together easily. The bond was made naturally and it stayed that way.

Jeremy so litt

I’m not sorry I shut everyone out of the hospital to focus on you and getting things right. To feed you, express, sleep and do everything possible to make sure we set ourselves up. It worked.

I’m sorry I have to go into surgery. It’s nothing to do with you. My eye just isn’t what it used to be and I’ll do my best to keep breastfeeding you, but there’ll be times when it just won’t be doable.

And finally I know we’ll be just fine. But breastfeeding is one emotional, personal journey and I need you to know, that stopping is never without its sorrow.


Did you have to stop breastfeeding for reasons beyond your control?


9 thoughts on “I’m Sorry/Not Sorry: 12 Months of Breastfeeding

  • Beautiful words!
    You have done so well, you and your little man share a lovely bond that will grow and grow.

    I too love nursing my little one 🙂
    Good luck for your op xx

  • I stopped feeding Zee when I went to Perth last year. We were down to just the one feed in the mornings anyway, but I was happy to let that continue as long as she wanted. But after a week away she was well and truly done so that was it. I was so sad about it, but such is life I guess. We got a good 16 months and I’m proud that despite the massive hurdles we had to start with we both persevered. It’s definitely bittersweet when that relationship comes to an end.

    • 16 months is amazing Kylz. Well done! I got to 15 with Tom but he was mix fed. I was hoping to get around that with Jeremy. We still might…but there’s always that fact in the back of my head that breastfeeding may have caused this to progress. While I wasn’t asked to stop, it is probably best to. My right eye is showing very slight signs of the disease also 🙁

  • This is so beautiful. It really is amazing to breastfeed and nourish our babies the way nature intended.

    My son is 10 months old I was determined to breastfeed beyond 12 months, I’m 14 weeks pregnant and it’s not looking likely. We’re down to 2 feeds a day but still quite a bit over night. It makes me sad to think it’s almost over, but then happy to think I get to do it all again so soon. I’m just so worried I’ll lose that bond with my son and the special cuddles that come with it.

    You’ve done a great job too btw!!

  • I have been told to stop as I have pregnancy and lactation osteoporosis. Little one is nearly 14 months, and we are down to 3 or 4 feeds a day. Neither of us want to stop, and like you I thought we would continue until it just faded away, gently and slowly. I don’t feel sick, and I’m not in pain, but my bone density will not improve until we stop. Sadly, breastfeeding our next child might not be possible either, as another pregnancy will deplete my bones even more. So i feel like this may be it, which makes me so sad. I love breastfeeding and am lucky to live in a supportive community, with wonderful family and friends. It just really sucks when you feel like you don’t have control over your own body. Sucks a lot! X

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