This morning Tom asked me where I was going. I was pretty excited to disappear to the library for half a day’s content writing, as well as catching up on the blog and my ever growing email inbox.
Tom: Why are you going to work? You’re not a teacher
Me: No, I’m not a teacher at the moment…What am I?
Tom: You’re just a mummy!
My husband immediately rose to my defence, claiming that I was a mummy, a teacher, a nurse and so on. I dug down deep, and I didn’t feel sad, or stung. I replied “You’re right. I am just a mummy” and I smiled.
The generalised mummy world will roar right? On social media we are constantly fighting our invisible battle. We are more than just a mum! We are workers, we are wives, we are daughters and some of us are sisters!
Well, my kid doesn’t read Facebook. In fact, he’s 3 and he can’t even read. Yet he said, “JUST a mummy” I can jump to my defence, like social media does, like my wonderful husband did – and recite this meme.
But I didn’t. I didn’t want to.
I’ve read blogs where people say they put their children into daycare and go to work partly because they want to prove to their kids, particularly their daughters, that women are more than just a household trophy. They are more than cooks and cleaners. They can have careers, they can have high profile jobs, they can BE somebody.
But what is this saying of motherhood? What if we said we are “just a mummy” and we love it? Are we lowering expectations? Are we making the women before us, who suffered and fought so hard for equal rights cringe?
I don’t know about you, but I have two really young boys. I am more than ok with them seeing me as ‘just a mummy’ at the moment. Do I have ambition and a career sitting on the side, WAITING to be pursued? You bet. Do I have days where I just want to throw my hands up, put them into care and get a job that’s not from home? A respected job where my hours are real and scheduled in? Yes. Absolutely.
Do I want to be the mum that’s ‘working’ during the day from home? No. My work is mostly done after the kids are in bed or napping. I was PROUD that my son didn’t know I worked and earned an income. You know why? If he knew I worked and they are not in care, then I would be mostly leaving them to their devices while I sat at a laptop, and I don’t do that.
And you know what else? He linked working to being a mummy. He said I was just a mummy when I asked what I do. He could have said “You do nothing. You don’t have a job” but he didn’t. He said I was a mummy. His mummy. Full time. I’m more than ok with that…for now. When they’re older, and we’re all ready, things might shift. Mummy might become more than just a mummy to them. For now, I’m beaming to think, that during my child’s waking hours, I’m 100% his mummy.
Are you ‘just a mummy’? Are you ok with that most of the time?