How To Stop Mother Guilt – Guest Post

Guilt

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It seems that the current generation of mothers just can’t stop feeling guilty no matter what we do…regardless of working mothers, stay and home mothers and part time working mums. If we’re at work, we feel that we should be at home with the kids and vice versa. It’s not a win-win scenario but how do we stop the internal battle?

Here are some of the top reasons ‘mother guilt’ rears its ugly head and what we can do to avoid it.

 

Doing it all

Mums so often feel that they need to do everything to be the best mother they can be.

“Doing it all” can leave you stressed and exhausted, in fact leading to the opposite outcome. Being stressed can negatively impact your health, preventing you from being able to focus on what’s really important – the health and happiness of you and your family.

It’s a cliché I know but one I truly believe in – you can do it all, but not at the same time. It’s OK to put things on hold if you can’t fit them all in. Or…simply ask for help.

Comparing yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others can make you feel very inadequate and guilty. This is the same as with anything in life, but for some reason, mothers can tend to lose the ‘sisterhood’ when it comes to comparing mothering. This is a never ending battle with no resolution and no happy ending.

Every mother and family is different and will have different circumstances and commitments to yours.

End the guilt by realising that your family is happy and healthy and you’re doing the very best you can.

Feeding your children

Feeding your children a balanced, healthy diet is hard to do, especially when you have fussy eaters to negotiate with. Mealtimes can be stressful and preparing for them is time consuming.

Tapping into pre-prepared foods or meal planners can make life super easy, still allowing for a nutritious diet. Utilising online grocery shopping is also another great time saver, reducing your need to ‘do it all’.

And don’t forget that the occasional treat isn’t going to kill them. Take a load off and get take away!

Returning to work

Returning to work can be one of the most stressful times a mother of young children can go through.

So many mothers feel guilty about going back to work, but reason with yourself that your child is in safe, quality childcare and no doubt having fun. Their horizons will be expanding and they’ll be learning new things and meeting new friends every day, enriching their tiny lives. Who can argue with reason like that?

Don’t forget getting yourself back to work could be great for your mental health, giving you a rest from the chaos of family life and this will benefit your children and well as yourself.

Giving your child everything

There is so much pressure to give our children everything and the green eyed monster plays its role when our children compare what their friends’ have and in turn, want the same for themselves.

Despite how hard it might be to not give into these demands, in the long run, it’s healthy to teach your child monetary value and that they can’t have everything they want in life. Remember that every family will have different circumstances to your own.

You might want to consider providing your child with an allowance so that they can learn to appreciate money and make their own decisions on how to use it.

Motherhood is an amazing gift – remember to enjoy the journey!

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**This article was supplied by Rebecca DeLuca. Rebecca is a Melbourne nanny with well over 10 years of experience. She knows the industry intimately and knows what families want and need for their children.

With a gap in the childcare market, babysitters and nannies are becoming an increasingly popular choice for parents.

Rebecca created www.babysittersearch.com.au, a website connecting parents with babysitters and nannies, because of her industry knowledge and also her passion for helping children and parents.

At www.babysittersearch.com.au, there’s an extensive database of babysitters and nannies to help you find the perfect carer for your child.

On the site, you’ll also find a blog with tips to help you travel through the journey of parenthood.

You can also search their comprehensive Australia-wide Nanny Agency Directory for a Nanny Agency in your area.

12 thoughts on “How To Stop Mother Guilt – Guest Post

  • Some great tips in there. We do often try and do to much to eleviate guilt. I don’t think the internet and social media help, when other mothers and showing themselves as perfect mums. I try to remember keep it simple, keep it real. (From TUST)

    • So true Elise. All around us is striving for perfection – We must have the perfect sleeper, the perfect eater. Definitely a good motto to have!

  • interesting list! Definitely a takeaway won’t harm them as long as its not every day!!

    Thanks for sharing.

    #TUST

    • Yes agreed. I think it’s the theory behind it that sometimes it’s OK to ‘let go’ and not feel guilty about it!

  • I love this! so many mothers think its their way or the highway. If you have a happy healthy child, then you are doing great!
    thank you for sharing 🙂

  • My kids are now 18 & 16 … so pretty well grown up. And still the mother guilt. Did we give them too much? Were we too soft/hard on them? Am I too blame for the fact that the eldest lives on energy drinks and takeaway (even though I provide healthy food and good home cooking!)? *Sigh*

    • Janet, I see that in my own parents too and did a lot growing up! I guess parenting guilt can be a fact of life, but I think it’s important to try not let it take over!

  • Great advice, since having my third child I have a lot more but also less mother’s guilt. I don’t stress about food, I try to keep things simple and real!
    Visiting via Blogs and PR for TUST

  • Oh mother guilt!! I still have it at times and my youngest is 17! Some great tips there and very good points! 🙂

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