5 Things about Toddlers With Newborns

When I was pregnant with Jeremy I often heard people say “I wonder how Tom will go when you have the baby…” they would purse their lips, raise their eyebrows…and annoy me.

“Oh well, he’ll be right, we will see” I would reply, shrug it off, change the subject.

I guess people did that because the Tom people saw was attached to me constantly, clinging to me for the smallest of things and being, well, Tom. Energetic, intense and demanding. Occasionally I would be outright told that I should be prepared for him to be insanely jealous as soon as the baby is born. On the flip side some people told me he would love being a big brother.

I really didn’t know what he was going to do at all. Tom has the ability to drive me crazy in one minute, and floor me with his independence the next. So I didn’t worry. I figured we would just work it out when the time came.

I definitely decided to give up planning anything when a quick search of Mr Google returned Mr Negativity, telling me he would turn into some jealous monster. I didn’t want to don him in a green suit just yet.

So in an effort to bring back positivity in parenting, here are 5 things I’ve noticed about (my) toddler with a newborn.

1. Everything babies do is AH-MAZING: When we had our first baby, every little noise, coo, burp was a wonder. When Tom would just begin to cry, I would be there to scoop him up.

Well now it’s Tom’s turn to be amazed. Every time Jeremy cries, Tom is by his side. “Oh dear!” he says. Every time Jeremy is filling his nappy, Tom is there to point at his nappy and look at me in wonder. Wow! There he goes again!

amazing toddler
2. Toddlers can ACTUALLY be helpful: Ok, so at first it was pretend helpful.
“Thanks for helping!” I would say to Tom as he covered Jeremy with his blanket…and covered his entire head while he was at it.
“Thanks for helping!” I would say to Tom when he was trying to shove a rubber duck in Jeremy’s face while I gave him a bath.

But this morning, I was half way through getting dressed and Jeremy started to cry. “Can you rock the cradle please Tom?” I watched him rock the cradle while I finished getting dressed. Every now and then he would stop, sneak his hands through the bars, and give him a pat. By the time I was done getting dressed, Jeremy was fast asleep. I decided I might keep that little skill of his up my sleeve!

3. You get to watch the bond: There are those precious moments that you just want to capture forever. Last week I took Tom to the park to feed the ducks. He was SO excited. He was literally jumping up and down and squealing. Every now and then he would come back to the pram, pop his head in the back and excitedly babble to Jeremy with a bit of “duck!” and bread thrown in his face for good measure. He wanted to share his excitement with Jeremy so much, I’m pretty sure he was just wishing he would hurry up and walk already so they could be super excited together.

4. The Newborn is entertained too: I could shove all the bright toys I can find in Jeremy’s face under a rocker or tummy time mat, but it is Tom’s voice that he will tune into the most. His head turns in his direction. His big eyes widen. Sometimes he smiles. Who needs coloured plastic to look at when he has an excitable, animated brother to watch? And I don’t need to get down with Jeremy for tummy time. Because Tom is there instantly, bringing his face close to his.

tummy time jeremy

5. Jealousy or not, toddlers are hard work: Sometimes Tom cracks it. Sometimes he screams for me so many times my head wants to explode. It happens when I’m cooking, trying to get something organised or when I’m feeding Jeremy. He might be jealous, or he might just be in a crap mood. When he is like that he can lash out at whatever is around him. A plate of food, a toy, Jeremy. I hold him, I give him love until he settles down. We don’t tolerate him being rough with Jeremy. He usually covers his face with his hands as soon as he has done something he shouldn’t have. He knows it’s not right. He goes to ‘time out’ in the hallway and that has been pretty effective so far.

So really, it is a little scary at first having a newborn in the house with a big, strong, FULL ON toddler. I didn’t know what to expect and I thought I would have to put a toddler-proof barrier around Jeremy at all times.

But it’s important not to underestimate the learning of these little beings. With the right treatment, they can step up and be fantastic siblings. Not perfect. Never perfect. But as long as you take the good and the bad you can be in a position to notice the magic moments.

tom and jeremy beautiful
What have you been told about Toddlers with Newborns?

4 thoughts on “5 Things about Toddlers With Newborns

  • I was pretty nervous about how Punky would handle Zee being around but she loves it. Most of the time. There was no jealousy at all, she just loved to stroke her head and hold her hand. Punky was great with Zee as a newborn. Now that they are both a little older though there a re a few things coming to the fore. Zee of course loves to get her hands on anything within reach, which is most often one of Punky’s toys, so there are very often cries of “No, Zee! Mine, Zee!” to be heard. And sometimes she gets annoyed at Zee if she is crying while Punky is trying to concentrate and she will yell Stop at her. And when she is having a rough day, she will go so far as hitting Zee. I try not to react to the hitting though as it’s almost always done to get m attention and I’ve found that (as long as it’s not a serious bit of hitting) ignoring it is the quickest way for her to stop. Most of the time it’s just a gentle tap to see if I will react, but there have been a few instances where it’s been a real smack and I’ve had to step in and confiscate a toy for the bad behaviour. It quickly stops!

    How good are toddlers though as baby entertainers?! As long as Punky is in the room then Zee is totally happy and content. She loves to watch her and I know as soon as she can crawl she’ll be chasing after her too!

    • Ahhh I love how you are a few steps ahead of my Kylz! I have so much to look forward to lol. But yeah they are great. We don’t give Tom much time of day when it comes to hitting. He only knows one level – hard. He has also taken to squeezing Jeremy’s hands and feet as hard as he can. Then he gives them a big pull. He is really quite rough. So he does that he is straight to time out and he knows he has mucked up big time. I guess it’s all about them testing the boundaries and knowing what they can and can’t do 🙂

  • so extremely happy and grateful that you have shared this. I have a toddler who is a real mummies boy and feeling very nervous about welcoming my second in 4 weeks time.
    thank you for calming my nerves and making me think maybe it won’t be all so bad.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *